Musings on Marriage, Wives, and Divorce Author Unknown (coward)
My wife and I have the secret to making a marriage last: Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, have a little wine, some good food, and companionship. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.
We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in Florida and mine is in Cincinnati.
I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.
I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary. "Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said. So I suggested the kitchen.
We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
She has an electric blender, electric toaster, and electric bread maker.Then she said, "There are too many gadgets, and no place to sit down!" SoI bought her an electric chair.
My wife told me the car wasn't running well because there was water in the carburetor. I asked where the car was, she told me, "In the lake."
My wife is on a new diet: Coconuts and bananas. She hasn't lost weight, butBOY, can she climb a tree now.
She got a mudpack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off.
She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I too late for the garbage?"The driver said, "No, jump in!"
Remember... Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.
Statistically, 100% of all divorces started with marriage.
I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.
I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months. I don't like to interrupt her.
The last fight was my fault. My wife asked, "What's on the TV?" ... I said, "Dust!"
In the beginning, God created Earth and rested. The God created man and rested.Then God created woman. Since then, neither God nor man has rested.
Why do men die before their wives? Because they want to.
Author Unknown
So, the author thinks it's funny to insult his wife. And, IF he is a car salesman, he is a total JERK. Okay, okay, so maybe I'm having the once per quarter Car Wife Pity Party. (The men are not allowed to have these. Ever)
Actually, Jenna Karvundis, founder of CAR WIVES in Chicago, writes on the topic frequently. In her blog she talks about the rare family dinner and never having a date for a wedding. I can so relate to her on a day like today. There are some days that I would so trade any business investment, paycheck or financial trade off to just have my rock home with me. It's so funny how something as simple as my husband's physical presence in our house can change everything...for the better.
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| By Russ Mills |
Maybe it's on a day when my sweet son has been grappling with the school bully, or a day when the political news is super interesting, or having to wait to watch the MAVS game until he gets home... These are all times when I just wish Marcus would be home. Or could be home. And church- forget it. Sunday has now become our day to "sleep in" and then eat our 'one meal a week' together. (It's on the list of things we want to get back in to). Hopefully we return to our almost new home church. It should be an easy habit to start this week with Easter Sunday fast approaching. (Note that I still have not gotten Easter Bunny items eeeek :/) So, if the above nameless author of the Musings poem actually has a wife and this is how he actually feels about her- shame on him. Being a car wife is a duty all on its own. We should be rewarded! It is a great commitment and yes there are immeasurable rewards. But sometimes it is damn difficult! We don't need jerks making jokes. Ever. Never. Ever.
All of this semi-selfishness and pity and I am now remembering that I am being ridiculous! Ideas from once again...tada...Jen Hatmaker. And yes, it's from a Valentine's Day blog and yes, I know it's Easter.
"I’ve been married twenty years. I know it, friend: marriage is hard. Ohmystars. Fighting for commitment is no joke. It is the grittiest work imaginable. Don’t believe the love hype you see on V-Day for a second. We’re all posting our best material. You are not the only couple struggling to see another day, I swear. You are not alone. I see you and honor your fight for love. Mercy, you are so brave.
I give you a Valentine for working hard. Us marrieds sit in solidarity with you. Getting together is easy; staying together is the work of a lifetime and sometimes it blows. Every hard conversation, every humble apology, every effort to listen, understand, compromise – standing ovation. You may not have the feelings but you are doing the work, and that deserves honor. Please reach out to us. May we come alongside each other’s marriages in support, counsel, wisdom, and backing." To Those for Whom V-Day Stinks - Jen Hatmaker
Thank God for the Jerks who make Jokes and my favorite blogger Jen Hatmaker. Somehow it all comes together in the end. And my +Marcus Williams who is always with me in spirit even when I'm sure he wants to run fast away from the craziness that is the life of a car wife's husband!
I love Jen Hatmaker too.
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